Yours

I’ve been meaning to write this blog for several weeks now but kept putting it off because I didn’t and honestly still don’t know how to adequately put into words what I am seeing and experiencing and learning while at Casitas everyday. I’m praying right now as I write this that God would graciously give me the words I need.

For those of you that don’t know, Casitas is a government run orphanage for girls age 12-18. On average 90 girls live at Casitas. They have lived there for varying amounts of time and for varying reasons. One girl arrived at Casitas two days ago and another has lived at Casitas for a year and ten months. A few of the girls have no families that they can go to and will likely live at Casitas until they are eighteen years old. Others have families but their families cannot care for them, sent them to Casitas as a punishment, or are very bad environments for the girls. In addition to the difficulties that come with living in an orphanage these girls have experienced extraordinary amounts of suffering and hardships in their short lives.

I have been going to Casitas for several weeks now, but every time I walk back in there and see the way they live and spend their time and smell the awfulness and hear a new story of one of the girls my heart breaks a little bit more for them. At times my heart literally aches for these sweet girls. I am saddened and overwhelmed and angry by the things I see and hear each day.

I often find myself questioning why these girls have to live here and saying its not fair and wondering who loves these girls like they need to be loved instead of trusting God with their lives. But fact is life isn’t fair and we deserve nothing, but God in His grace chooses to give us beautiful gifts. Why some of us are blessed in some ways and others aren’t I can’t answer that question. But, I do know that God is sovereign and all knowing and I don’t have to or need to understand the “whys”. He knew before these girls were ever born that they would spend a portion of their lives living at Casitas and He knew that I would be there getting to love them and hear some of their stories.

When I question who loves the girls like they need to be loved God graciously reminds me that He does. He is the only one that loves perfectly. Even if they were living with their biological families or if they were in a foster home or transition home no one but God would be loving them the way they need to be loved. Our families don’t even love us the way we “need” to be loved. We’re human. We’re imperfect. Therefore, our love is imperfect. But, God, His love is perfect. I constantly remind the girls of the perfect love of our Heavenly Father, but I’m only able to do that because God is constantly reminding me of His perfect love for us.

Earlier today I heard the song “Yours” by Steven Curtis Chapman for the first time in a long time, but seriously, what perfect timing. Here are the lyrics. It’s kind of long, but I would encourage you to read them all anyway, because they’re so beautiful. He never says San Pedro Sula or Honduras or Latin America, but in my head I substitute my city and country for the places he says.

I walk the streets of London
And notice in the faces passing by
Something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry

Where is the hope for London?
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
As I'm reminded
That every street in London in Yours
Oh, yes it is

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
They're waiting for a cure no one can find

And I hear children's voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I'm reminded
That every child in Africa is Yours

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours

And I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
Like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I rush by the beggar's hand and the wealthy man
And everywhere I look I realize

That just like the streets of London
For every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation
This is our Father's world

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything

It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God

The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God

You're the King of Kings
And Lord of Lords

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
Yeah, it's all Yours
We are Yours
The glory and honor is Yours, everything is Yours

It's all Yours, God
My life is Yours, my heart is Yours
My hands and my feet are Yours
Every song that I sing
It's all Yours, all is Yours
All belongs to You
Our gifts are Yours, God
All our dreams are Yours, God
All our plans are Yours, God
The whole earth is Yours, God
Everything is Yours

-Kellie

I Want To Be Like You

This past week was absolutely crazy and very out of the norm. We had so many visitors in town from the U.S. I might as well have been in Texas… but I wasn't.

On Saturday our lovely friends and mentors, Robyn and Stephanie, from Texas and Oklahoma were in town for four days. We had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas together! Christmas number one – check.

Saturday evening commenced our Christmas festivities. It involved decorating a brand new Christmas tree with new lights, ribbon, and ornaments (donated to us by a friend) while taking numerous breaks to stuff our faces with tons of chips, dips, crackers, cheeses, meats, fruit, and of course sweets and choreograph dances to “Call Me Maybe” (videos to come soon, promise).  Sunday was Christmas day! To open presents first and then have breakfast, or to eat first and then open presents? A tough call, for sure. But, we wound eating a huge, yummy breakfast and then making our way to our presents. Breakfast included homemade pancakes (however syrup appears to be very unpopular here in Honduras), bacon (made my yours truly), eggs, fresh pineapple, juice, milk, and coffee (my new favorite!). Afterwards we made our way to the living room for present opening time. I had the privilege of playing Santa and passing out presents to all the girls, Tia Julieta, and myself. We dumped open our stockings and found lots of fun goodies from Robyn and Stephanie, my favorite – a toss up between matching pajamas for all 7 girls in the house and my Texas A&M mug (that’s how I know Robyn loves me). After changing into our new Christmas pajamas we watched a Christmas movie favorite, Elf, but in Spanish of course. After pizza for dinner and a long and wild game of spoons we decided it was time for bed. And, by time for bed I mean the girls went to bed and Robyn, Stephanie, and I stayed up talking for a few hours. Sleep, who needs it?

During all of the cooking we did in the kitchen Sunday morning, Robyn and Stephanie (who cooks for a living) realized our kitchen was not very well equipped for cooking efficiently. They decided to generously outfit us with a new kitchen! So, they spent the morning shopping for us. I was convinced they bought basically the whole store until I went there yesterday and saw for myself there were still items on the shelf. Because of a great sale at the store they went to they were able to buy all kinds of new appliances, plates, Tupperware, baking necessities, and pots and pans for the house. After lunch and some really great conversation we put the girls to work cleaning out the cabinets and then it was time for organizing the kitchen, my favorite! After dinner, we finished organizing the entire kitchen and explained how to use everything in the kitchen. You can’t begin to understand my excitement to be able to cook in a well equipped once again and how incredibly overwhelmed I am by the generosity of my friends Robyn and Stephanie to do this for us!

I spent a lot of the four days with them overwhelmed, and not in a bad way. They are so wonderful; you really have to meet them to understand how incredible they are. But, seriously, they are full of wisdom, encouragement, and love for us. I want to be like them when I grow up (because 22 is not really adult like, right?) and by that I mean that in their lives I see the Lord reflected constantly and I pray that my life looks like that now and in the future.

The same day Robyn and Stephanie left several people from the Buckner offices in Dallas, TX came to town. It was great to be able to meet some of my bosses and put names to faces. It was even better to get to sit down and have long conversations with them and share my heart with them and hear their hearts and wisdom. And, it was so fun to see them love on these girls that I live with in the transition home. It was easy for me to see that for them Buckner is more than just a job for, it is a place they have all been called to and they truly do all their work as if working for the Lord.

Please pray for us in the house! A few days ago two of the girls that were here moved out and three new girls moved in. Pray for the transition, so far it has been smooth, but of course we’re still learning and adjusting. Please pray for us that we would feel be a family, which prays, laughs, and talks together. Pray that our time together would be fruitful and that God would use it. Pray that God would give me wisdom and discernment in conversations with these sweet girls. Pray that I would take advantage of every opportunity to love them.

Thanks and gig ‘em.

Peace, love, and pursue Jesus.

Kellie