Yours

I’ve been meaning to write this blog for several weeks now but kept putting it off because I didn’t and honestly still don’t know how to adequately put into words what I am seeing and experiencing and learning while at Casitas everyday. I’m praying right now as I write this that God would graciously give me the words I need.

For those of you that don’t know, Casitas is a government run orphanage for girls age 12-18. On average 90 girls live at Casitas. They have lived there for varying amounts of time and for varying reasons. One girl arrived at Casitas two days ago and another has lived at Casitas for a year and ten months. A few of the girls have no families that they can go to and will likely live at Casitas until they are eighteen years old. Others have families but their families cannot care for them, sent them to Casitas as a punishment, or are very bad environments for the girls. In addition to the difficulties that come with living in an orphanage these girls have experienced extraordinary amounts of suffering and hardships in their short lives.

I have been going to Casitas for several weeks now, but every time I walk back in there and see the way they live and spend their time and smell the awfulness and hear a new story of one of the girls my heart breaks a little bit more for them. At times my heart literally aches for these sweet girls. I am saddened and overwhelmed and angry by the things I see and hear each day.

I often find myself questioning why these girls have to live here and saying its not fair and wondering who loves these girls like they need to be loved instead of trusting God with their lives. But fact is life isn’t fair and we deserve nothing, but God in His grace chooses to give us beautiful gifts. Why some of us are blessed in some ways and others aren’t I can’t answer that question. But, I do know that God is sovereign and all knowing and I don’t have to or need to understand the “whys”. He knew before these girls were ever born that they would spend a portion of their lives living at Casitas and He knew that I would be there getting to love them and hear some of their stories.

When I question who loves the girls like they need to be loved God graciously reminds me that He does. He is the only one that loves perfectly. Even if they were living with their biological families or if they were in a foster home or transition home no one but God would be loving them the way they need to be loved. Our families don’t even love us the way we “need” to be loved. We’re human. We’re imperfect. Therefore, our love is imperfect. But, God, His love is perfect. I constantly remind the girls of the perfect love of our Heavenly Father, but I’m only able to do that because God is constantly reminding me of His perfect love for us.

Earlier today I heard the song “Yours” by Steven Curtis Chapman for the first time in a long time, but seriously, what perfect timing. Here are the lyrics. It’s kind of long, but I would encourage you to read them all anyway, because they’re so beautiful. He never says San Pedro Sula or Honduras or Latin America, but in my head I substitute my city and country for the places he says.

I walk the streets of London
And notice in the faces passing by
Something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry

Where is the hope for London?
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
As I'm reminded
That every street in London in Yours
Oh, yes it is

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
They're waiting for a cure no one can find

And I hear children's voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I'm reminded
That every child in Africa is Yours

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours

And I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
Like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I rush by the beggar's hand and the wealthy man
And everywhere I look I realize

That just like the streets of London
For every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation
This is our Father's world

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything

It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God

The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God

You're the King of Kings
And Lord of Lords

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
Yeah, it's all Yours
We are Yours
The glory and honor is Yours, everything is Yours

It's all Yours, God
My life is Yours, my heart is Yours
My hands and my feet are Yours
Every song that I sing
It's all Yours, all is Yours
All belongs to You
Our gifts are Yours, God
All our dreams are Yours, God
All our plans are Yours, God
The whole earth is Yours, God
Everything is Yours

-Kellie